Wednesday, May 19, 2010

19th [supply && demand. ] this is unupdated, naoz. LOL

Sick today.
I regret it.
Wish I was around.
I've missed too much.
It kills me.

You didn't get me out of bed this morning.
My will has become WEAK.
Weak is helpless.
Selfless, but helpless.

Say, "Life is good."
That's what it is nowadays.
Fighting too many battles.
Juggling too many plates.
They're falling.
Teach me to juggle.
You make it look so easy. :)
It makes me smile.


I'm the needy type.
I like to be praised.
To know affection.
I always refuse to admit it.
I can't deny it any more.
No one's going to buy it.
They see me and I am weak.

Nice.

Is what I am.
Is all I am.
Is all I want.
Is all I want to be.
What's stopping me?
Save me from loathing.
Hate is pitiful and small.
Say, "I hate nothing."
It's killing me.

You know I love you.
I want to say stop it.
"Please".
Shout it perhaps.
Then again I want you to break me.
Push me further that I've ever been.

I get it.
I'm supposed to talk.
Chime.
Carry on the conversation.
But your connection makes me feel so small.
Underserving and weak.
Like I shouldn't intrude.
You'd tell me that I'm being silly.
That it's easy.
But it's the hardest thing in the world for me.
Teach me how to do it right.
You do it so well.

Not that's out. I'm feeling much better. Old school Community channel. (Y)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

18th :)

Thoughtful reminder of the day: Wiki states friendships are a value often as a result of demonstrating these actions on a consistent basis...

- the tendency to desire what is best for each other
- sympathy and empathy
- honesty, especially in situations which it is difficult to speak the truth, particularly is pointing out the faults in the counter part
- mutual understanding
- mutual compassion

Today reminded me that friends are for:

- spoiling
- making you smile
- making you laugh
- looking out for
- giving everything you got
- bringing out the best in you
- putting over your impure-intentioned personal interests
- gossiping with
- covering for
- belonging
- teaching
- encouraging

Monday, May 10, 2010

9/5/10 (A post to Reap, my blog threatener :P)

Sunday
Today, a boundary I had always seen as an impenetrable mantle of perfection was thinned enough for me to step through. From this encounter a mutual appreciation for different races was created. The orchestra broke free from its untouchable bubble and escaped from its isolated stereotype, finally willing to join my world. I had never felt more in sync with everyone around me as if I knew what was going more than ever, yet less and less about how I’d gotten there. Everything fell into place so easily; aside from the vibraphone, of course. Haha. (Y) The part of me that screamed cast meshed so well together with the part of me that was built to be crew.

It all started during musical of course, it always does. As Robyn was working with the leads, I had time to burn with the crew we brought out the barbeques and was sent to liaison with the percussionists by Mr. Weiss. A closer bond to both the crew and orchestra was forming. They needed:

  • A glockenspiel (plus a stand)
  • A xylophone
  • A drum kit
  • Gongs
At first it was awkward, but then I think we reached a mutual understanding that we were out the help each other. The year 10 girls were really nice, dumbing everything down to my level. It was very considerate. xD The heavy lifting was my end of the bargain and I left J Block to extract some instruments from underneath the stage, where the wild things exist in NSB. I had to be was quiet, very quiet, so quiet that no one would care whatever the heck I was doing. I worked my way from right to left as I didn’t really know what was what on the far side of the stage. There was no glock(enspiel), but then I made one very terrible, but likewise terribly great mistake. I thought the VIBRAPHONE was a GLOCKENSPIEL (musicality win! LOL) Meanwhile, the principles were doing their thing with the Epilogue and it was sounding great. :) (Many kudos)

Post-chorus run through the Epilogue, we went upstairs to join Ivan and meanwhile, Ness and Simon brought out the vibraphone. (Wrong on my behalf as I’d told Simon to take it out) We ran through the end of Epilogue, At the End of the Day, The Docks and turned to the performance space to practice the waltz. The last part of my task was to confirm everything with the orchestra kids and indeed they needed not the vibraphone xD and I’d actually found the glockenspiel stand without even noticing. [Awesome ;)] Meaning that I’d now hit the terrible realisation that I was going to be the one wrestling the instrument to where it’d been found. De Jian, Lawrence and I were enjoying the brotherly love of each other whilst Robin had excluded himself from the brotherhood of shirts (from the fact the he did not know the secret handshake and was on his period).

When we were released for lunch, clearly that was the perfect time to do it, right? :D A majority ignored me despite the fact that they were right next to me [Orchestra encounter in 3, 2, 1...] but the orchestra kids were really helpful. Directing the correct way to treat a vibraphone, one guy even offering to help me despite the fact that he hadn’t eaten yet (and suffering Rickey’s wrath later on. Haha) and with Nancy (<3) supervising my raging at the vibraphone box more than the actual instrument, but taking it out on both none the less.

Underneath their intimidating and seemingly elitist exterior there wasn’t really all that much different from everyone else to the orchestra. My previous fear of being in their presence had been unjustified and they were the only people who cared what I had doing as everyone was too busy dealing things they had in their hands...and eating. We practically tried every logical position to put the damn vibraphone in and ALL of them were WRONG, except the last one. What are the bloody chances? Haha.

It was the most annoying processes and I wouldn’t have done it (without messing up the vibraphone) without Nancy and orchestra violin guy, Andrew. Shout out to these two awesome people. Thanks a million. I will shower you in chocolate or something. Haha. With that done, lunch was up. Beef patties! :) YAY! Nancy, Andrew, Rickey and I hadn’t eaten either and Rickey was nice enough to let me eat before him even though he had raged at Andrew for not giving his space up in the line to help me. It was well appreciated, all the help from my non-eating friends.

I spent my time looking for Reapy munching on the vegies I’d stacked on to my plate heading in the direction of J Block. I didn’t find Reapy, but Major Domo/William was up there playing his piano piece. It was very well learnt, but not as emotional as it needed to be. (A problem many people possessed in this musical) With no luck with finding Reaps it was back to the B Quad for me. That was where I found her frolicking with Eddy and Beddy. The area our year always sat had attracted a large number of followers compared to what we had in the beginning. It displayed the true pulling power of a strong NSG.

I wasn’t the type to spend time not in the presence of the company I enjoyed the most so I joined Reapy and Beddy. Behind us, Kwan was putting on the little show of what he’d learnt (probably the fireman hold) for Steph which made us all give him the thumbs up when Steph had left for a little break. (A signal of brotherhood as if he’d done the right thing, which he certainly did by choosing Steph) He signalled back. The idea and gesture he was “doin’ it right” was obviously reciprocated by Kwan. Lunch was interrupted by “Maddy’s birthday” despite the fact that very few children cared about whom Maddy was, let alone that it was her birthday.

I sat back down after singing her a happy birthday when Jono walked past lacking companionship, prompting us to tell him to join his friends. My friends had their own game of ninja destruction going on, meaning that Kenna would leave Elena, with me chasing back for her participation. Rickey approached Kenna and it was only appropriate to let them be together so I was about to leave. Before he offered to tell us a musical joke, one I was not about to understand. It was about a musical pandemic and I’ve got “acatturian” (?) what does that even mean? Kenna and I both failed to understand, though Rickey got chased for telling it to us.

It was back to ninja destruction for me after the awkward “I don’t get it” moment. I did suspect that embarrassing me was the slight intention, but I was glad that we’d said anything at all. The exclusion from everyone and orchestra was being to fade in my eyes. I was finishing my Solo can whilst playing ninja destruction and lost almost immediately. When lunch was over, we got our costume sheets. The stock of the paper was very high quality and I was laughed at for noticing. 120 gsm, bro. What’s wrong with that? After lunch was the run through. It went well; boring, but well. The staging was all so questionable for the entire musical.

The Final Battle was where we finished. Everyone was dead. It was kind of sad. They didn’t even get up to the Cafe, one of my favourite songs. Vin took the bus away, unlike to usual. Home was simple, I got driven from Stratty, Bella had a bad headache and Elena went to Auburn for mother’s day.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

For the Sake of Staying in Her Good Book : P

This blog goes out to my little REAPEH [rerenah ; D] (because I will be removed from her blog if I do not blog : ( fairenuff. .3. )

Thoughtful Reminder of the Day: Reality is what makes people work hard. Without reality, there is no legitimate competition and motivation. Thinking about what you've got (or haven't) in life makes you work hard.

Well this has been a LONG week. A week of cheap thrills and spills. Staying up late, getting up late and thinking to myself. : P It's really tired me out! Reading through everyone's blog/team effort, I've noticed that we're changing
more than ever and that we're going to need each other more than ever. Guys! I promise to be there for you, however busy I am. My commitment to you guys as a friend is more important than any other commitment I've got. I'd give up what ever I can for all of you. I PROMISE WITH ALL MY HEART. I don't break promises to myself. I'll always put you guys ahead of me. I think I lost sight of that this week and I'm sorry.

Sometimes it might seem like you guys don't know what I'm thinking and that I don't want to tell you guys anything. I apologise if that troubles and worries you guys! You guys know I'm too HC (srsly not really LOL)/introverted to talk about my feelings. Haha. : P A hug will do just fine if you ever notice that I'm a little down. Knowing you're there makes me feel special enough to get other any problems! I just need that intervention of reality to get my spirits up again.

Maths exam tomorrow. Wish you guys the best! It's my last exam and the week's finished! I'm extremely excited. Begugu, you deserve to enjoy our free period in third. I forgot to say this aloud to you a couple of weeks ago, but THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO. You always put us before you and work your hardest for us. I need to legit-ly thank you tomorrow because I really don't do it enough to your face. What you did on that free was not worth crying about, it wasn't your fault and you did great. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU. I can't spell Jap anymore. : /

Enough with the sappy stuff! On a sidenote, I need to intake more fibre. I'm eating too much junk...protein, carbs, sugars, fat....all that jazz. Just not fibre. The best cereal is mixing Nutri-grain and Coco Pops. Love it. : ) Cereal is relevant because it has fibre. I should start eating brekky. I should go to Coles later tonight for cereal. I'm starving! I eat next to nothing these days. Good thing my parents just got home to make me food! Yay.

[Sidetracked by Facebook, but now returned. ]My headache is back. The Panadoolz must have wore off. Or, though doubtfully, has not kicked in yet. I don't feel like appearing online today. I'm just so tired. My energy has been wasted on my pulse beating too quickly today. I had/questionably still have that type of nervous sinking feeling in my stomach and it hasn't gone away for a couple of days. It's loosened up a little now. These few days, I lost a part of me that is/was distinctly me; the ability to stay grounded. I'm feeling better now and my heads much clearer. Thanks for being patient with me, guys.

Musical tomorrow, too. Musical's always a nice way to finish the week. What better way than singing it out? Honestly, there is none. : ) ...well as far as my life will ever go. [loolz...] It truly is one of the highlights of my week alongside tute and various moments of school. [Headache gone! : O] Thank you, musical for making my life all that more special and enjoyable. Part of what I love about musical is that it's so chill. There's no hurry...well when you're doing something you enjoy, there seems to be no hurry.

Anyways. The smell of food outside is making my stomach growl and digest itself [feel free to ewwwwww! D: at that : P] so I'm going to stop! I hope this was long and satisfying enough for Reapy. : ) Love you lots! Get happy ma petite. You have so much to live for. : )

Na'vi rules my life [and Renweeb's arm! Aha!]

Care for all of you with my life,
c-mun

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Yum Chaaaa. [<--- I actually said that in my mind in Cantonese. LOL]

Ah, today I woke up to a odd dream. It was a gala of people! Everyone was there. Likes NSG, Sydneys, Baulkos, Ruses. All of them and then I was just walking and hanging around in a shopping centre-y place more like a mall. Had a carpark...that's pretty much all I remember. It's probably the sign that I miss school-like communication with the people I have hung out with. That's probably all you people reading my blog : ) Miss you all! : )

Vincent & family can to the store and distracted me from eating my Chicken Souvlaki/Shish Kebab (Y) and took me to Zilver to yum cha. I'm such a chimer. :/ I ate really slowly and my own arm got tired from holding the bowl because I was eating so slowly. [weak. not 強] LOL Anyways. I ate very little, but apparently, when you eat slowly, you feel very full, very fast so I didn't eat very much. They we went back to the stall and Elder Lewis talked to us and I was too busy loling to answer him. Then there were birds everywhere and like AHHHHH. Lolfail @ Belmore Park. Then at the stall we sat and waited for Vincent's family. Are celery and carrot sticks delicious? : )

Then I went home. I ate dinner, peeled carrots for tomorrow's carrot sticks and fell asleep on the couch. Woke up and mummy and daddy were preparing food and I took a shower. : ) I got to wash my hair : DDDD Squeaky clean naoz. Going to buy glue tomorrow. And exercise books and I think that was all...:/

Nightie night beautiful people.
cmun.

Monday, January 11, 2010

My New Tiled Wallpaper : D


RDJ; Hugh Jackman; Brendan Fraser; Gary Oldman; Eric Bana; Jared Padalecki && Ioan Gruffudd
I ain't got no hero complex. I just like risking my life to save people.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Yahtzee! New Phone...Soon...>: D [and CHOCOLATE CRACKLES. ] (Y)

I made chocolate crackles yesterday arvo and they should be set by now, but I don't want to eat then yet because I want to share them, but I have no one to share then with. I really don't know how they'll taste because instead of cocoa and icing sugar I just threw in Chocolate icing sugar to save monnehz. So they might taste weird. Plus the recipe was supposed to make like 24, but my daddy spoon too much in each patty pan and there are only 10. So...people get more than double dosage of sugar than is intended in the meal. I am clearly on the fast track to diabetes at the rate I'm going through sugar. But I might make more for the start of school because...I'm not really good at making stuff and chocolate crackles is the best I can do. [ifailLOLunacceptablefuturewife. <-- reminds me of beautiful cooking and the dodgy people who can cook and set stuff on fire. GG] I also took the liberty to "cook" French toast the other day. It was good French toast because I didn't burn it LOL. OR the kitchen...or the pan : P [I'm really THAT bad at cooking. Once I even dropped the whole pan on the ground when I was cooking. There was egg everywhere. Good thing that CLEANING is something I am very through about. My mum didn't even know it happened : )] Moving on...that also reminded me of [I just lost the bloody game. ] the fact that I did the vacuuming yesterday and my brother brings very little to the family table. He's heading off to Melbourne next week, so I hope he has a safe trip, but still...he needs to do the laundry or wash the dishes or vacuum more. Also went yum cha with my grandma and brother the other day. I was unwell and well, the point is that we didn't eat very much [ONLY 6 dishes and 2 were taken home by my grandma. LOL anos. ] And that small amount surprised me because that's very little. Moving on...I am getting a new phone at the end of the month and I have a couple in mind but I can't choose. Any help? Anything on the 19/29 caps are alright. Some phones are very looks and zero functionality. Like the LG....something something Crystal. It has a translucent touch keypad! Haha. But then...then touch motion is kinda redundant...xD The Nokia N97 would have been cool to have, but it's too expensive. AINO, YARI, N SERIES? I don't even know. D: Anyways. The summer is among us. AND AUSTRALIA'S SUMMER OF TENNIS. And the solstice soon... : ) I shall be going for Federer, Nadal maybe Safina : ) Down with Djokovic. : D Tsonga/Murray [dislike : D] Anyways, Summer's heating up, the weather. Oh great weather! I want to go to Jamberoo : DDDDDDD
Can't wait to see you all [REAPEH, YOU BEEZ BACK?],
c-man